As I was dropping off Pouty at a birthday party I got in to a conversation with a group of great Moms. I love them all…I love their kids. As one of the room parents and having fallen in love with the teacher 3 years before it is actually my favorite bit of crazy in my world right now. I am happy to put a little more time than I have in to doing things for the class simply because I find it fun. Certainly more fun than house work and laundry. I can also run screaming from the school building at any time.
So as we stood there….talking about our weekend, tasks that needed doing, how glad we were not hosting 20 5-6 year olds in our houses, a mother looked at me and said : “Oh please….you have it all together, I bet it’s all easy for you.” I nearly spit my drink in her eye. The only thing I have together is my humor on how un-together I am. Any places I look together? Smoke and mirrors my friends.
I was standing there unshowered, dressed straight off the floor in yesterdays cast offs. In fact there is a good chance I was in the shirt I slept in. I have a good 1/2″ of roots showing. Another week without some time with a box of Loreal medium ash brown and you can call me Pepe Le Pew. My breakfast was an Ego waffle with Nutella and I had exactly $1.06 cents in my wallet. I know that because I didn’t have enough for a coffee. The gift I got was from Family Dollar. In my defence was exactly what the child asked for. Frankly the only reason I didn’t knock anyone over with my stink is down to gum and good deodorant. My big nod to being fancy was eyeliner and sparkly earrings (sparkle distracts from roots and eye bags—or so goes my theory).
So that was my personal appearance. Let’s talk about the trashed house I left behind. The bathrooms were some what clean but ONLY because Word Girl had a friend over and I didn’t want her to gag if she needed the facilities. I can more or less state that your experience of my house is now 100% dependent on who you use the bathroom after. Me? One of the girls? You’ll be OK. Evel…I can only apologize. You would think every time he went to pee he found the bathroom on fire with only one means to put it out. He is bathroom trained….the potty trained part is literally hit or miss.
There was also the food situation, the uncleaned guinea pig, the load of wash 2 days old in the machine, a load in the dryer and many more to be put away. There were the clean dishes sitting in the loaded dishwasher and the dirty ones yet to go in. There was an odd smell coming from some where in the fridge. I will spare you the state of personal relationships, unreturned emails, calls, THIS BLOG.
I don’t think any of you who read this feel that I have it all together, but I was shocked anyone who had spoken to me in real life thought I did. I should have told her to read this blog…then she would really know how together I am.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You rock! I love that you’re honest- its what makes you appear to have it all together. Because those of us who are honest make people think that we are being sarcastic!?
Reminds me of a time after a very long day of hiking, I was waiting at the tea house for my shower, greasy and smelly and sweaty and gross, trying my hardest not to touch any part of myself with any other part of myself, and one of my fellow hikers commented enviously on how relaxed and non-grubby I looked. I was all, “??!!??” Then I went and took about 19 layers of yuk off in the shower.
My house looks exactly like yours sounds. It’s kind of depressing. It’s not like I don’t clean it – I do nothing but clean it. It just doesn’t stick. And it’s not like my standards are high or anything. “Not septic or reportable to CPS” is my standard and it’s all I can do to meet it. I think it’s the disorganizing effect of having special needs kids, combined with being genetically related to said kids (I was diagnosed with ADHD myself last year), and it being the middle of a very long, grey winter. Spring can’t get here fast enough this year.
Oh Michele! I love that…”the clean doesn’t stick” that is it! that explains the whole situation. I try and try, but it doesn’t stick.
Hi.
Are you me?
Because if you are, I could use a second me to help with his soulsucking cesspool that is my house. The only thing I’ve “got together” is the pile of dirty laundry, and that’s only because I’m expecting company.
Sigh.